I Wish It Was Over, But It Is Just Beginning

I’m writing this blog in the wee hours on Sunday, November 13th. This has been part of my ‘normal’ for about 8 years. Something awakens me that feels like a spiritual nudge, an invitation to arise, write, then rest. It doesn’t happen every night. But when it does arrive, I know that sleep will not return until I heed the call, grab my ipad and give form to the words dancing in my head.

I refer to these writing sessions between 2 and 5 a.m. as the “goddess hours,” a term of reverence for the source of these writings. That source comes from something deep within me connected to something or someone out there, just beyond my reach and limited human understanding of its Divine nature. After a lifetime of living inside a religion that held rigidly to an anthropomorphized, patriarchal deity that could apparently manifest a parking space for me if only I prayed hard enough and believed it so, I have no need to define it further. I’ve seen and witnessed first-hand the excruciating suffocation when forced to live under the dogma of that belief system.

Out of that belief system, a Christian nationalism movement had arisen and had been working a 60+ year plan to ensure its control and power over this country. To say that we were inches away from becoming a fascist country run by Christian nationalists is not an understatement.

This is no exaggeration—we were inches away.

As I often do before I begin my goddess hours writing session, I scroll my phone in case I missed an important message. I tend to steer clear from notifications about news so I don’t descend into a rabbit hole of reading when I should be writing.

But today was different. There in my notifications was a ‘breaking news’ update from Associated Press informing me that the Senate would remain under the control of the Democrats. I chuckled and thought of what Mitch McConnell was thinking when he heard that news. But as my daughter would say, “Mitch McConnell can kick rocks!”

Why my first thought was to think about ol’ Mitch then dismiss him with an insult reminiscent of our high school days is, well, interesting. I’ve had a pure disdain, no—pure contempt—for Mitch McConnell for years. Out of all the Republican operatives in leadership, McConnell knew what Trump was capable of yet acquiesced his power to this tyrant. Make no mistake about it, McConnell is dangerous in his own right. McConnell is smarter and more experienced and knows how to manipulate the system to get what he wants. Just look at how he created new rules to pause Obama’s SCOTUS nomination, yet Amy Coney Barrett is still out of breath from running to her appointment that was accomplished in record-breaking time.

All thanks to McConnell.

But McConnell didn’t just become evil when Obama arrived. He signed a deal with the devil, literally, in the 80’s when he became a willing participant in the plan hatched by Reagan and extremist Christian operatives to secure a patriarchal structure that ensured the white Christian male would stay in power. We were always coming to this place where democracy would be held hostage by Christian nationalism hell-bent on turning us into a one-party, one-religion, Christian-centric nation.

America, however, had other plans and showed up en masse to laugh in the face of a red wave that never materialized. Notwithstanding the obvious—that white women, who overwhelmingly still voted Republican.

We’ll worry about them on another day. Today we celebrate Black women and Gen X-ers who looked the devil in the face and said, “Not today Satan. For you, McConnell and Trump and all your fascist friends will not destroy us today, so take your bigotry, tuck your tails between your legs and go home.”

I wish this is the end of the story, and we could all go back to planning our lives, knowing that democracy is safe and will live into perpetuity. The brutal truth is that this is only the beginning.

A fly-over looks like this:
>Trump is still a dark force who still holds too much power over political operatives.
>Some Christian Nationalists won in the midterms, and they will be a force to be reckoned with as they will continue to wreak havoc where they can.
>Evangelicals showed up in force to vote, indicating they are doubling down on their embracing this Christian Nationalist message that would move us away from democracy and into a Christian-centric fascist nation. They will continue to be spoon-fed from the pulpit with those hate-filled sermons that convince them that they are right, and the rest of us are pure evil.
>Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Marjorie Taylor Green, Matt Gaetz are still lurking.
> The Supreme Court remains corrupt and illegitimate as a result of 3 appointees made by a narcissist tyrannical president that had no qualifications and fewer morals.
>White supremacy remains the biggest threat to our democracy.

Please keep reading. I don’t share the problems that we are facing to scare you. It’s to remind you that we have work to do.

Don’t despair.
Don’t give up.
We all deserve a collective sigh of relief before re-engaging.

But re-engage we must.
For our future and the future of our children.

During the most challenging times, I have reminded people that I believe good will prevail. I believe that because humanity is always moving toward a higher consciousness that demands equity, social justice and that kindness and compassion guide our actions. Goodness prevails when those who are awakened to it protect it. That is where we come in to ensure that the world we leave is better than the world into which we were born.

You will read this blog just a few days before the Winter solstice, and I include a writing from several years ago to remind you that we’ll be experiencing the longest night, but the light is returning.

I can think of no other sacred symbolism for this season we are in. Because while it is true that there is work to do, and some of that work will be challenging…

goodness will prevail.

The light will return.

Kindness will win.

Happiest of holidays to you.
Happy Winter Solstice.
Blessed be.

Turning toward the light ~ the Winter Solstice

Our ancestors understood the significance of this day, which, in our time, has been minimized to represent the "first day of winter."

In my childhood, the first day of winter was cause for celebration—it heralded in the season of school breaks and gift giving.

But it's so much more than that.

Those who came before us recognized this day as the promise of light returning, the earth warming and generously offering provisions, ensuring people’s survival.

This day is the sacred keeper of the shortest day and the longest night.

Winter Solstice doesn’t promise the earth will thaw right away. On the contrary, periods of bitter cold that will test the resilience of plant and animal life still lie ahead.

And yet the light is here, gradually adding minutes to each day, hinting at the healing power of the sun that will arrive in its fullness to rouse the land and all its inhabitants. The earth sleeps, things pass away and are then reborn in a new way.

We begin to understand that living and losing, birthing and dying, are suspended by the earth's turning away from, and then back toward the sun. In our darkest of days, in our deepest pain, in our greatest sorrow, the light eventually comes.

Perhaps it’s just a sliver, peeking through the curtains, a touch of a hand or a just-at-the-right-moment phone call.

Then it’s a door opening, as our feet find movement and our heart’s desire to be seen as who we are now, maybe just a little more fragile, maybe moving a little more slowly because the light hasn’t fully warmed us.

Finally, the earth seems alive again, and our bodies long to feel the soft grass beneath our feet. The sun now shines fully as we see the beauty of life around us in those who hold us gently, with a knowing that we will ebb and flow with the wind as memories pierce this thin skin surrounding the heart—but we are here.

Yes, beloved.

Look through the curtains.

See the light.

Know that healing will come.

The sun is on its way, as promised.

Each day will bring new opportunities to warm our bodies and soothe our hearts.

May the wisdom of the Winter Solstice be yours today.